John Paul II's funeral and the grieving process
I'm watching the funeral events on EWTN. It is a moving event, but I could do without the talking heads that even EWTN seems to find. I agree with the Anchoress, there is something within the Liturgy that helps bring a person 'out of themselves' at a time of mourning as see death as just one more step along the road, both for the person who has passed and those left behind.If we truly believe in our faith, then one thing we are forced to admit during such proceedings is that our grief is really for ourselves and the separation we experience from the loved one who as passed. For that person, we should feel only joy for now they are with the God, the object of our faith and belief.
As I have aged and relatives and other people I've known and grown with have begun to pass, I have come to view the grief that we all feel with something of mixed emotions and some trepidation. Grief at such parting, temporary although it may be, is natural and should be expressed. Such grief is a cleansing of sorts, and as it wans you may have a better appreciation of the person who has passed that you began with. It is also a time of introspection and can be a key event if we feel we need to change something in our lives. We should also try to be more understanding of those around us during these times; we all express our grief in different ways, from quietly crying in solitude, to loud wailing and all the variations in between.
The danger is in allowing grief to cross the line in a self pitying mode. Then it becomes all about me, the person left behind, and no longer about the person who has passed. This type of grief is destructive and so easy to fall into. Rather than cleansing, it becomes like wallowing in mud; the more we wallow in it the more we become weighted down with its detrius, until we become completely subsumed.
As the Anchoress said, the Irish have it right. When I was young I felt wakes were so inappropriate - after all the person had just died, what was there to celebrate!? Now with some time to learn and understand, I realize that they serve two purposes. First, if you cared anything at all about the person who has passed, then certainly they deserve to have their life and your time together celebrated. Second, they are a powerful tool in helping to avoid that tempting slide into self pity.
Having said all that, Good Bye John Paul II! And Welcome Home!
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